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C'mon Man!
As we begin the quest for Super Bowl XLI, 17 teams
have major explaining to do
Before we kick off the long-awaited 2011 season, it's time to interrogate
some of the most celebrated NFL teams.
As a Broncos fan, I went through some incredibly torturous years. As a
7-year-old in 1970, I became a fan because I liked the colors and the cool
horse on the helmet – then became enamored by the NFL's most exciting
player back then, Floyd Little. Number 44 carried the team for the next 6
seasons before retiring in 1975. Two years later, the defense carried the
club to Super Bowl XII where they lost to Dallas. Of course, the 1980s
with John Elway elevated the Broncos to one of the league's best teams, sans
Super Bowl victories. They lost 3 in 4 years, each worse than the next.
It wasn't until 1997, when I was 34, that the Broncos finally hoisted the
Lombardi Trophy. Then did so again in 1998. Sure, it's been 13 years since
Denver has been back to the big game. But when the day comes that I'm
sporting the same pair of comfortable shoes, at least I can die peacefully.
Not so for fans of these teams …
Detroit Lions – over 50 years ago the Lions won 3 NFL Championships
during the 1950s. Now they are entering their 6th decade without a trophy.
Needless to say, the Lions have been the NFL's worst organization since the
Eisenhower administration.
Cleveland Browns – this team won the NFL Championship in 1964 by
shutting out the Johnny Unitas-led Colts 27-0. How long ago was that? I
was 1 year-old. Now, I'm 48. Do the math. Technically, the Browns became
the Ravens and won the Super Bowl 5 years after leaving Cleveland, but if
they had stayed in Ohio … they would have screwed it up somehow. The new
Browns, circa 1996, is just as bad.
Jacksonville Jaguars – if we're including teams that have never been to
the Super Bowl we must include the Jags. Sure, they joined the NFL in 1995
after 29 Super Bowls had been played. Still, after 16 seasons they are still
light years away from making an appearance.
Houston Texans – after 6 seasons, this team has yet to make the playoffs.
Just sayin'.
Losing the Super Bowl doesn't really count either
Cincinnati Bengals – before founder Paul Brown passed away in 1991, the
Bengals actually played in 2 Super Bowls. Both against the 49ers and both
losses. Now they've spent the past 20 years in the incapable hands of Brown's
son, Mike. The cheapest, worst owner in the NFL.
Arizona Cardinals – follow me here. If Rams QB Trent Green never injured
his knee in 1999, no one would have ever heard of Kurt Warner. That means
the Rams would still be without a Super Bowl ring and the Cardinals would be
the NFL's second worst team behind the Lions. The Cards finally made a SB
appearance a few years ago, but still lost.
Tennessee Titans (Houston Oilers) – 12 years ago, the Titans finally got to
the big game on the arm and guts of Steve McNair and the legs of Eddie George.
They came up a yard short. But what about the 50 years since they won back-to-
back AFL Championships in 1960-61!
Carolina Panthers – this 1995 expansion team made it to the NFL championship
game their second season but didn't get to the Super Bowl until a few years ago.
They played mightily against the Patriots but still lost.
San Diego Chargers – this team won the AFL Championship in 1963, the year I
was born. Their lone Super Bowl was in 1994 when I was 31, which they were
pummeled by the 49ers. That was 17 years ago.
Minnesota Vikings – even today, the Vikings have a national following. That's
because they were quite good during the 1970s, good enough to lose 4 Super Bowls.
Their last Super Bowl appearance was in 1976 – 35 years ago. Shockingly, they
have yet to win a Super Bowl.
Philadelphia Eagles – Philly fans are among the NFL's most rabid. They've been
known to act like imbeciles. You would too if you've never won a Super Bowl. Their
two appearances netted two losses. Their last NFL Championship was over 50 years
ago. They can trash talk all they want with their NFC East counterparts. But they got
no SB rings to make any kind of compelling argument, dream team or not.
Buffalo Bills – this old AFL team won back-to-back championships in 1964 & 65
with Lou Saban as coach, Cookie Gilchrist crushing the rock and Jack Kemp leading
the way. During the early 1990s, they went to 4 straight Super Bowls and lost 'em all.
Now it's been more than 45 years since a championship.
Seattle Seahawks – this team has been around for 35 years and has 1 SB appearance,
a loss. Not the pride of the NFL, for sure.
Atlanta Falcons – this 1968 expansion team managed to beat the heavily favored
Vikings in 1998 to ascend to their first and only Super Bowl. A big loss to the Broncos.
Now going on 13 years since.
Super Bowl winners – but really!
New York Jets – the loudmouth Jets, no matter how many Super Bowls head coach
Rex Ryan predicts year-in and year-out, have only been to 1 Super Bowl. Yes, they won
in the biggest upset in NFL history. But that 43 years ago … in 1968. C'mon!
Kansas City Chiefs – like the Jets, this team won the Super Bowl once. And even
though they've played in 2 Supes, their lone victory was in 1969 – 42 years ago.
Miami Dolphins – sort of hate to include them since they were a dynasty in the early
1970s. But they've lost the last 2 Super Bowls they played in, and haven't been to the big
game in over 25 years.
So who will win Super Bowl XLI? The team that started it all -- and the one who
brought the trophy back home last year -- the Packers!
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